Sex and the City is almost finished. I find it so weird that I am touched by every heartbreak, tragedy, and moment of weakness. It's so cliché for me to watch emotional movies like this (I suppose that's true), but I shouldn't be watching them alone. Yet here I am. Alone. Watching a touching movie when there is no one here to hold me.

I find it sad the character I connect with most is Carrie. Poor, jilted Carrie. I connect with the character that I feel has been hurt the most. That is probably the worst part in all of this. I am so happy right now, and yet sometimes it's easier for me to dwell on the pain. I feel sorry for the people around me. My life is not a pity party, and yet, I feel like everyone thinks I want affirmation that my life is normal. I don't. That is definitely not my style.

Lately I've been very depressed. Seriously depressed. Maybe it is my current situation. Maybe it is the feeling that I've become someone who I don't fully know anymore. As I develop the things I feel I let what I have been influenced to believe go. It feels liberating for a short while, but later it becomes daunting. What do I believe? There are things I've never thought about. Things that are becoming front burner are items I never thought I would worry about. It is so very disheartening. I am no longer sure of where I stand. What was once black and white is now grey. Dismal grey.

I would love to hear somebody else talk about such things, and perhaps how they've overcome them...